“I wouldn’t have known we were in the middle of a pandemic”

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Charlotte – a 34-year-old veterinary surgeon turned scientist – held a positive pregnancy test in hand a few weeks before the UK plunged into lockdown. After a previous traumatic birth experience, she could have done without the stressful Covid birth planning. But during her labour she had two amazing midwives by her side who cared for her like she was the only birthing person in the world. Her birth made her respect and love her body again. 

In April 2018, I gave birth to my first son. I was excited and calm about his birth and couldn't wait to meet him and become a mum. Unfortunately the reality was far from what I had hoped for, with a 'back-to-back' baby, uncontrolled pain made worse by a failed epidural which left me with no pain relief but complete loss of motor function to my legs, ‘poor maternal effort’ resulting in a rotational forceps delivery, postpartum haemorrhage and a third degree tear. Recovery was long and hard and PTSD made my postpartum period a bit of an emotional blur. I was a shell of my former self. I received trauma counselling which helped me deal with my experience. During my counselling, I was able to put a plan in place to help me if I were to fall pregnant in the future. That plan largely went out the window due to Covid restrictions.

“I was a shell of my former self”

One of those women
Fast forward to March 2020 and me proclaiming "I think I'm pregnant...!", as a very faint second line appeared on what felt like my tenth pregnancy test that week. A few short weeks later, the UK was plunged into lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic. This meant I became one of those women who had to attend scans and midwife appointments alone. It was emotionally tough, but I am grateful to have had a relatively straightforward pregnancy, and my midwifery team were fantastic at offering me the support and care I required to make evidence-based decisions regarding my impending birth. Decisions that were best for me physically and mentally. I spent the time in lockdown learning hypnobirthing techniques and gaining thorough antenatal education to facilitate my birth plan decisions. 

Covid birth planning
“Don't worry. By November this whole coronavirus thing will be over and the restrictions won’t affect you", is what everyone kept saying to me. But in the back of my mind, I knew that a second lockdown was highly likely. As the end of autumn approached, it seemed that this was indeed where we were headed, so my husband and I started to think about what it meant for our birth. We formed a childcare bubble with my mum for our toddler, planned for a home birth in case of hospital restrictions being reimposed and asked a friend to be a back-up birth partner, in case anyone in our bubble were to fall ill. My community midwife was extremely supportive of our plans, and helped us gather all the equipment we would need for our home birth.

“Panic kicked in when we had to take our toddler for a Covid swab at 41+3”

Panic
My due date came and went, and at 41+3 our toddler woke up with a horrific cough after suffering a cold the whole week before. Panic started to set in as we took him for a Covid swab and self-isolated awaiting results. "What if I go into labour tonight? What if they don't let you into the hospital? Home birth will be off the table now I'm sure?", I cried to my husband, who tried to reassure me that our son's results would come in negative before I went into labour. "But what if they don't? I can’t do this alone?" My community midwife referred me onto one of the head community midwives who put my mind at ease and reassured me that this would not prevent my husband from attending the hospital, so long as he was not displaying any Covid symptoms, he would just be asked to wear a face mask throughout. Unfortunately home birth was now off the table as the community team would not have time to perform a risk assessment of the situation in time as they were so busy. But I was happy to aim for the midwife-led unit (MLU) instead. So we went to bed that evening, awaiting the swab result, and preparing for another day of pregnancy. Of course, I woke up at 5am with the first contraction... This baby was not keen to wait for the swab result!

Mindful and respectful
When we arrived at the hospital we had our temperatures taken and in between contractions made our way slowly to the labour ward where I asked for an epidural. The midwife checked my decision, but then I changed my mind and didn’t think I actually wanted one anymore. We chatted about my options and I was, with my permission, transferred to the MLU within the hospital. This was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was swiftly transferred and made myself at home in the MLU room. Apart from a small mishap because he forgot my maternity notes, my husband never left my side. My birth plan requested no vaginal examinations unless clinically necessary. This was respected, not questioned, and not given as a condition to my partner attending the hospital. So to this day I have no idea how dilated I was at admission. Our care team consisted of a student midwife and her supervising midwife. They introduced themselves and let us know they would leave us to it whilst they took the time to read my birth plan. I felt safe with them. Both were incredibly respectful of my birth plan, and delivered care that was mindful of my previous traumatic experience. We had the lights dimmed, fairy lights on, a relaxing playlist over the speakers and I was able to use breathing techniques, along with vocalisations (I was not a quiet birthing person), gas and air and the TENS machine to control the pain. My husband stroked my hair and along with the student midwife reminded me how amazing I was doing. 

“I did it...I really did it...I can’t believe I actually did it”

Overwhelmed with love
Around two hours after being admitted, and four hours from the first contraction I said I think I needed to push. My husband pressed the buzzer and our care team calmly came into the room. My body took over. The sensation of pushing felt powerful, all-encompassing and incredible. My waters suddenly broke and I was informed there was meconium in the waters, but not to worry as he would be here very shortly, however they would call a paediatrician to attend just in case. Due to my previous third degree tear, and despite the meconium, the midwives allowed a slow and physiological delivery of the head and provided a warm compress to my perineum. They helped me focus my energy into pushing with my contractions and relaxing in between, and in two or three short contractions he was delivered into the world. Our son gave a loud and beautiful cry, and was immediately placed onto my chest and the overwhelming feeling of love took over completely and I couldn't stop crying. "I did it...I really did it...I can't believe I actually did it", was all I could think.

High fives all round
We were left for the whole golden hour together, but not before the midwife confirmed that I had only sustained a very small first degree tear which did not require a single stitch. If they weren't wearing PPE, I could have kissed them, so we settled for high five all round instead. We had to stay in the unit for 12 hours so our son could have two-hourly checks due to the meconium in his waters, but my husband was allowed to stay for the whole time until we were discharged shortly before midnight. I was offered a Covid swab just before discharge which I accepted. I was never offered one during labour.

Healing
After my first birth, I had lost faith in my body. I hated it for not doing what it was supposed to do. It let me down and I struggled to forgive it for that. 

This birth was healing. 
This birth was empowering.

This birth made me respect and love my body again. 

This birth meant EVERYTHING to me. 

The care we received from both the midwife and midwifery student was exemplary. They respected me, my autonomy as a birthing person, and my ability to make informed choices. They trusted me to make decisions that were best for me and my baby, and facilitated the steps required to make it happen. They – without question – respected our plan to make our room our safe space and always made us feel deeply cared for, and like I was the only birthing person in the world at that moment in time. Apart from the PPE, I wouldn't have known that we were in the middle of a pandemic. 

Giving birth in the pandemic can be very stressful. Having a good grasp of your maternity rights might help. You can read about it here in this post by Rebecca Schiller (Birthrights).