Finding help

Becoming a parent is a huge life-changing event for us all.

Even under the best of circumstances it can be quite overwhelming. But when your road to parenthood comes with challenges, your birth was difficult or you’re struggling when your baby is here, you’re often faced with unexpected and confusing emotions to deal with. We’re here to help you. We’ll guide you step by step.

And for partners, we’re here for you too. Just because you did not give birth, you weren’t the one who miscarried or battled breastfeeding, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be affected or aren’t in need of support. You don’t have to keep it together. Read how we can support you here.

Dealing with birth trauma can have a huge impact on your relationship. Loss of intimacy, an increase in negative feelings towards your partner and feeling disconnected is very common. Know you’re not alone. Find out what can help you both here.

You might wonder if your baby has been affected by your experience. Perhaps you worry about the bonding with your baby, his or her crying, sleeping difficulties or problems with feeding. Know that your feelings can be distressing, but they are neither right nor wrong. If you want to find out if some of your baby’s issues might be related to your experience, please read here.

“I was so scared during the birth and afterwards that I didn’t focus on my baby - will he think I don’t love him?”

— Karen

Our Step By Step Guide

First of all, give yourself some praise. You’ve taken a big step by admitting you need help. Let us guide you through the next steps.

STEP 1: SPEAK UP

If you haven’t done so already, open up to your loved ones. Whether that’s your partner, a friend or someone in your family, like a sibling or your mum. Learn more about the treatment options you can ask for on the NHS and our free ‘I need help’ download.

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STEP 2: USE OUR CHECKLIST

There are a few important things to keep in mind before you move on to choosing the right treatment for you. Explore our checklist to make sure you’re as supported as you can be.

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STEP 3: KNOW ALL OF YOUR OPTIONS

Be aware that healing takes time but it will come with the right support. Understand more about therapy available on the NHS and other healing tools that many women and birthing people have found helpful.

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STEP 4: HOW TO MAKE A COMPLAINT

We explain the steps you need to take if you would like to complain about your treatment in a maternity service. We know this isn’t an easy decision but there are great organisations who can help.

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We’re happy to help

We trust you find out Step By Step useful, but if you have any questions when you’re finding help, do not hesitate to reach out. We are always happy to help.

CONTACT US

Stories of harm and healing

Trauma can lead to growth.

On your road to recovery please remember, your story can be one of harm and heal. Nearly half of women will find their trauma leads to growth. You can have positive changes in some beliefs or your functioning as a result of what you went through. For many women a subsequent birth can be transformational. And then there’s the amazing feeling of being understood and heard by healthcare professionals who are looking after you, like your Health Visitor, midwife or GP.

We’d like to share this quote from our CEO Nikki Wilson. She wrote this down when her second son was one week old. She had a positive birth experience after a traumatic first delivery: