Birth and trauma

Two words that don’t mix?

The day your baby is born is often called ‘one of the happiest days of your life’. It doesn’t really click in our brains that having a baby can be hard, or even traumatising. 

We link trauma to things like war, disaster or abuse. 

Unlike other traumatic events, birth can be positive – and is – for many people. So when you had a difficult experience and you mention this to those around you, comments like ‘well, at least your baby is healthy, that’s all that matters’ can leave you to feel that what you’re going through is being dismissed or belittled.

But birth trauma is real. 

And it happens often: at least 1 in 4 women find some aspect of their birth traumatic. 1 in 25 women of these women will develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

The term ‘birth trauma’ is confusing.

Because it sounds like we’re just talking about birth and traumatic experiences that cause PTSD. Yet it’s much bigger than that. It includes any difficult experience on your journey: from trying to conceive, to pregnancy and beyond. Anything that left you feeling intensely afraid, out of control or helpless. And it includes physical injuries too.

It may be the birth itself - or it may not.

Let us explain.

For many women and birthing people, it is the birth itself which was traumatic. However, for many others it was something else along their journey to parenthood. So, when we say ‘birth trauma’, it can also mean that you’re affected by things such as:

Reproductive trauma

This includes infertility diagnosis, pregnancy loss, reproductive injury (e.g. Spinal Cord Injury (SCI)) or fertility treatment and is also called (in)fertility trauma.

Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG)

This is severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss or dehydration during pregnancy. For many women HG is a traumatic experience.

Breastfeeding trauma

Lots of women and birthing people who want to breastfeed have to stop before they are ready, leaving them feeling a range of negative emotions, including grief, anger, guilt, shame and frustration, and often blaming themselves.

It’s really important to remember that other people cannot judge what you will or will not find traumatic or incredibly hard. You or your baby don’t have to be at risk of death or be facing a serious injury for the birth, or period around it, to be experienced as traumatic or very difficult. Your feelings are valid and your experience matters.

So how does birth trauma show?

Dr Rebecca Moore, Perinatal Psychiatrist and Make Birth Better Co-founder, explains.

Birth trauma has a big range of emotions. From feeling incredibly scared, overwhelmed, frustrated, ignored, sad or guilty to having intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and nightmares. You might be reliving your birth all the time in your mind, avoiding hospitals or pregnant friends and struggling to sleep. You’re likely to feel switched on all the time and unsafe in the world.

Birth trauma does not always lead to PTSD. It’s also different from Postnatal Depression. Around 200,000 women in the UK find some aspect of their birth traumatic. Many relate to some but not all of the PTSD symptoms:

• re-experiencing traumatic events

• using avoidance behaviours

• feeling a heightened sense of threat

• negative thoughts or feelings

To be diagnosed with PTSD you would experience all these four symptoms for more than one month.

So you may have some symptoms of trauma but not PTSD. In this case, you can still be heavily affected by your emotions. You may find ‘trauma’ feels like a huge and heavy word – especially to describe something you’ve also been told is ‘natural’ or seen as ‘a joyful event’. Quite often you might not realise you are suffering from birth trauma until months or years after the event, when you become pregnant again.

Why does birth trauma happen?

Circumstances matter.

Sometimes things that happened in your past can play a role, like a previous traumatic experience or depression. It might make it more likely for you to feel traumatised. We also know the following factors are linked to birth trauma:

• Lack of consent

• Medical emergency

• Fearing you or your baby might die

• Feeling out of control, silenced or alone

• Quick or long labour with sleep deprivation

• Perception of pain and pain management

• Physical birth injury (more info on our page here)

• Burnt out care givers

• Systemic racism

• Interpersonal factors

Research tells us ‘interpersonal factors’ are key. This means that the support you feel when you are giving birth, trying for a baby or as a new parent can make all the difference. Language is crucial in feeling supported or not.

Words matter. It’s ‘You’re only at 4 centimetres’ versus ‘You’re doing so well, keep it up’. Or ‘Stop crying like a baby’ versus ‘I know you can do this’. (One of our campaigns is about the impact of words. It’s called ‘Every word counts’, read more about it here.)

When you’re giving birth, (trying to get) pregnant or just had your baby, you are at your most vulnerable. If you are being ignored, your worries are being dismissed or people are rude to you, this alone is enough to make a difficult experience traumatic.

You are not the only one who can be affected. Your partner, your baby, your family or the professionals who were there by your side can be affected by what you went through just as much as you are. 

We are here to support you all.

Find out more on our pages: finding help (treatment and healing), support for partners, birth after trauma. Please scroll down for more downloadable resources.

Next

Move to How Can I Find Help?, Partners Matter Too, Birth After Trauma or back to the Parents Support page.